Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Just shared via Facebook:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Live now on TikTok:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Just landed via Twitch:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Spotted on Slack:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Just landed via TikTok:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Funny well-adjusted quotes

New funny well-adjusted quotes 👇

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

0

2 months ago

adult, exhausting, exhaustion, functioning, humor, life, life struggle, pretending, struggle, well-adjusted

Someone from 🇲🇦 has recently bookmarked this quote.

40 shares on Telegram this month.

All funny well-adjusted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

34 shares on X this month:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Spotted on WeChat:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Breaking via Telegram:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Just landed via Discord:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Trending via WeChat:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I had too much to think last night.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny well-adjusted quotes

New funny well-adjusted quotes 👇

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

All funny well-adjusted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨