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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Breaking via TikTok:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Live now on Discord:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Shared recently on Slack:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Breaking via Threads:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Just landed via Telegram:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Going viral on Reddit:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Live now on TikTok:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Just shared via Reddit:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Seen just now on Discord:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Reported on WhatsApp:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

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