Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Just landed via Reddit:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Just landed via Slack:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Spotted on X:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Just landed via Facebook:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Just landed via X:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Trending via Slack:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Making waves on WeChat:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Funny woof quotes

Funny woof quotes 🐶 are the perfect way to brighten your day with a wagging tail and endless laughter! Whether you’re a dog lover or just need a pawsitive vibe 🐾, these playful sayings will have you grinning from ear to ear. Get ready for some bark-tastic humor that’s sure to make you say “awww” and LOL all at once! 🐕😂

New funny woof quotes 👇

All funny woof quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on X this month:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

39 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,749

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Trending via Slack:

Drive like no one is watching.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Spotted on Messenger:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Just landed via Telegram:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

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