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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

My favorite color is money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Breaking via WeChat:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Spotted on Slack:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Spotted on Telegram:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Just landed via Telegram:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Making waves on Facebook:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Shared recently on WeChat:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

God saw you do that.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, oh! Even God had to hit the rewind button on that one! 👀🙈🤭 #CaughtInTheAct #DivineIntervention"

God, guilt, humor, mischief, observation, saw

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

2 months ago

alcohol, breakfast, brunch, call, humor, i
My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

2 months ago

age, aging, aging sign, body, dog, dog years, feels, health, humor, joke, sign, year’s
People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

1 month ago

food, give, humor, importance, important, me, people, pickle, sharing
I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

3 months ago

charm, confidence, humor, i, laugh, personality, self-deprecation, ugly
People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

2 months ago

humor, people, self-talk, talk, weird
Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

4 weeks ago

beverage, chocolate, comfort, comfort food, craving, diagnosis, extra, food, got, hot, hot chocolate, humor, just, marshmallow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Live now on WhatsApp:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Making waves on Instagram:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Trending via Snapchat:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Making waves on YouTube:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Just landed via Discord:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God saw you do that.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨