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Commentary:
🌿🚰💦 "Asserting your dominance over the plant kingdom, one waterboarding session at a time! Just make sure your houseplants don't stage a rebellion. They might just leaf you for good! 😉🌱 #PlantParentingStruggles"

authority, boss, care, gardening, houseplant, humor, joke, plant, plant care, waterboard, waterboarding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

0

2 months ago

able, being, buy, happiness, irony, much, not wanting, secret, simplicity, want, wanting, whatever
I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

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1 month ago

attitude, evil, humor, i, losing, love, me, men, personality, remind, self-reflection, sometimes, spark, thinking
Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

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2 months ago

aspirations, career, five, humor, interview, job, job interview, life, me, procrastination, sabbatical, where, work, work life, yourself
My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

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2 months ago

birth, getting, i, Lil, lists, scroll, too, year
My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

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2 months ago

ago, delete, full, guess, humor, i, memory, phone, procrastination, second, spiderweb, storage, time, video, year’s
Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

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2 months ago

angelo, bad, chapel, feel, humor, michael, Michael Angelo, motivation, perseverance, success, try

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on TikTok this month:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

65 shares on Threads this month:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Just shared via Messenger:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Breaking via Threads:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨