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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Going viral on Reddit:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Seen just now on Reddit:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Shared recently on YouTube:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Going bananas on Messenger:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Just landed via Telegram:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Just landed via Discord:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Breaking via Telegram:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

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Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.
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Commentary:
🌿🚰💦 "Asserting your dominance over the plant kingdom, one waterboarding session at a time! Just make sure your houseplants don't stage a rebellion. They might just leaf you for good! 😉🌱 #PlantParentingStruggles"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Telegram this month:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

64 shares on Threads this month:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

60 shares on Discord this month:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Seen just now on Discord:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Trending via Messenger:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Just landed via Discord:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Just landed via Slack:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Trending via Facebook:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Breaking via Reddit:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

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