Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
🤑💸💭 Bank: "Is your 401k enough to retire on?" Me: "You are my bank, you know it's not." 😅💸💼 Sounds like the bank needs to work on their optimism game!

401k, advice, bank, check, email, financial, financial advice, humor, know, money, reality, reality check, retire, retirement, sarcasm, saying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

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2 months ago

brain, drive, forget, humor, i, swear, swear word, word, words
What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

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5 months ago

adversity, attitude, grumpiness, grumpy, humor, kill, little, motivation, resilience, strength
Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

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5 months ago

chew, chewing, day, habit, humor, men, nostalgia, toothpick
I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

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1 month ago

aspiration, grow, grow up, humor, idea, kid, kids, love, tell
She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

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2 months ago

animals, apartment, date, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, pest, relationship, turn, turn off
I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

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2 months ago

approval, elected, election, humor, i, joke, jokes, political, political joke, politician, politics, seen

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

60 shares on Discord this month:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

21 shares on Discord this month:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

96 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Trending via YouTube:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨