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🤑💸💭 Bank: "Is your 401k enough to retire on?" Me: "You are my bank, you know it's not." 😅💸💼 Sounds like the bank needs to work on their optimism game!

401k, advice, bank, check, email, financial, financial advice, humor, know, money, reality, reality check, retire, retirement, sarcasm, saying

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90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

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Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

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Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Going bananas on Slack:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Going bananas on Slack:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

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Activity Log ✨

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Keep the laugh going 😂

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨