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"Relationships are like room temperatures – it's all about that perfect balance! 🌡️❤️ So remember, it's all fun and games until someone turns up the heat or cranks the AC! 😂 #ThermostaticallyCompatible"

advice, analogy, compatible, date, dating, dating advice, humor, love, relationship, someone, thermostat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

1 month ago
bed, comfort, couch, laziness, procrastination, real, relaxation, sleep, struggle
I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

1 month ago
anthem, award, award ceremony, ceremony, country, country music, humor, i, listen, music, music preference, national, national anthem, preference
I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

1 month ago
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Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

1 month ago
bacon, bake, cook, cooky, culinary, food, funny observation, humor, language, observation, wordplay
Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

1 month ago
box, chocolate, comparison, dating, days, girl, girls, humor, nut, nuts, relationship
I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

1 month ago
boat, comedy, dead, dead to me, guest, guest star, humor, i, irritation, love, me, relationships, sarcasm, show, star, The Love Boat, TV, TV Show, wake, wake up, woke

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

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This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

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There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Just shared via Twitch:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Spotted on X:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Going bananas on Threads:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

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Activity Log ✨

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

I woke up alive again.

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

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Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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