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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

48 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

This Monday could have been an email.

Going viral on TikTok:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Making waves on Telegram:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Spotted on WeChat:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Just landed via Reddit:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Trending via Facebook:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Just shared via TikTok:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

6 months ago

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to survive the grocery store before Christmas is like going on a wild expedition through the jungle. 🛒🎄 Don't worry, your milk may have expired, but at least you've gained some battle scars in the form of long checkout lines! 💥😂"

before, Christmas, expired, grocery, grocery shopping, i, line, milk, nightmare, shopping, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

48 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Live now on Twitch:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Breaking via Facebook:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Just shared via X:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Breaking via TikTok:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

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