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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Jan 12, 2026

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Trending via TikTok:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Going viral on Messenger:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Making waves on Pinterest:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Live now on Telegram:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Spotted on Slack:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

2 months ago

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to survive the grocery store before Christmas is like going on a wild expedition through the jungle. 🛒🎄 Don't worry, your milk may have expired, but at least you've gained some battle scars in the form of long checkout lines! 💥😂"

before, Christmas, expired, grocery, grocery shopping, i, line, milk, nightmare, shopping, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

2 months ago

advice, birth, birth control, control, humor, i, inspiration, parenting, relationship
For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

2 months ago

activity, beach, costume, destroy, dressed, food, french, french fry, fry, fun, fun activity, Halloween, humor, i, let, me, seagull, wildlife
Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

2 months ago

bottom, ever, heart, honesty, humor, i, insulting, irony, mean, should, sincerity
A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

2 months ago

couple, humor, know, life, marriage, problem, problems, relationship, single, solving, together
I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

3 months ago

boss, cannonball, conclusions, confidence, diving, exaggeration, humor, i, jump
This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

4 months ago

celebration, Christmas, date, gone, holiday, quick, surprise, time, tomorrow, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Shared recently on Instagram:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Just landed via Facebook:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Spotted on Discord:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Just shared via Discord:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Spotted on YouTube:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Spreading quickly via X:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Just shared via Messenger:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

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