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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Shared recently on X:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Just landed via YouTube:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Trending via Instagram:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Breaking via Instagram:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Making waves on X:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Spotted on Facebook:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Breaking via Discord:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Hang in there, it gets worse.

17 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like life's opening act was just a warm-up for the main trainwreck! 🚂💥😅

encouragement, hang, humor, motivation, pessimism, sarcasm, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

2 months ago

behavior, best, forever, humor, media, observer, online, online behavior, social, social media, Twitter
Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

2 months ago

career, education, fun, give, humor, irony, job, jobs, joke, people, prank, study
When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

2 months ago

airport, always, fine, flight, gate, guy, humor, next, sitting, think, travel, waiting
I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

3 months ago

communication, English, humor, i, language, slow, speak
Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

2 months ago

gas, health, holding, hope, humor, intrusive, intrusive thought, joke, just, mental, mental health, mind, self-awareness, still, thought, thoughts
I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

2 months ago

character, character development, development, focus, glad, growth, humor, i, life, makers, personal, personal growth, scene, sex, sex scene, unnecessary

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

77 shares on Slack this month:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

52 shares on Discord this month:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

90 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Live now on Instagram:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Spotted on Discord:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Going viral on Facebook:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Breaking via Threads:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Freshly posted on Slack:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Spotted on YouTube:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hang in there, it gets worse.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨