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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Just shared via Facebook:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Breaking via TikTok:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Going bananas on Discord:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Breaking via X:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
Sure, because if anyone can find it, Chat GPT can! 😂🤖🧠

AI, asked, chat, Chat GPT, conversation, gpt, humor, lost, mind, question

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

2 months ago

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“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

2 months ago

girl, health, humor, i, iron, low, low iron, self-advocacy, stand, stand-up, yourself
Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

2 months ago

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At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

3 months ago

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Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

2 months ago

awesome, big, big guy, body, body size, clothing, clothing size, fashion, guy, guys, humor, shopping, size, small, small woman, thrift, woman, women
Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

3 months ago

activity, days, exhaustion, extreme, extreme sport, going, going out, humor, life, row, should, social, social life, sport, weekend

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on X this month:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

38 shares on Discord this month:

This meeting could have been a cake.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

78 shares on Discord this month:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

64 shares on Slack this month:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Trending via TikTok:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Shared recently on X:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Keep the laugh going 😂

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨