Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Just shared via Facebook:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Live now on Threads:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

So my wife goes, “It’s not you — it’s me.” Obviously written by ChatGPT.

Spotted on Threads:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Just landed via Threads:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
James Cameron: the only guy who sleeps with the lights on because he can't turn the camera off! 🎥😆

called, camera, cameron, humor, james, James Cameron, joke, pun, wordplay

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24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

86 shares on X this month:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

35 shares on Threads this month:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

85 shares on Discord this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

64 shares on Slack this month:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Just shared via Snapchat:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Going viral on Discord:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Seen just now on Discord:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Just landed via Telegram:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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