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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Live now on Pinterest:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Just landed via Instagram:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Just landed via Twitch:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

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He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.
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Commentary:
James Cameron: the only guy who sleeps with the lights on because he can't turn the camera off! 🎥😆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

98 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

33 shares on Slack this month:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

28 shares on Slack this month:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

68 shares on Threads this month:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,849

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Spotted on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Making waves on Threads:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Spotted on Messenger:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

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