The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing. Posted onMay 29, 2026
What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all? Posted onMay 29, 2026
Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset. Posted onMay 29, 2026
My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me. Posted onMay 29, 2026
“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.” Posted onMay 29, 2026
For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once. Posted onMay 29, 2026
You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again. Posted onMay 29, 2026
My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed. Posted onMay 29, 2026
The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November. Posted onMay 23, 2026