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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Live now on Facebook:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Spotted on WeChat:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Going viral on TikTok:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Just shared via Threads:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you text your friend to ask how many potions you need for the subway ride 🧙‍♂️🗽😂

city, Delilah, greeting, new, New York City, orc, question, york

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

0

2 months ago

90, diet, fact, food, fun, fun fact, health, help, humor, junk, junk food, know, lifestyle, live, lose, motivation, sarcasm, will to live
One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

0

2 months ago

convenience, daily, daily life, else, experience, favorite, favorite part, grocery, grocery shopping, humor, life, me, parts, shopping, shopping experience, somebody, someone, someone else
I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

0

2 months ago

belief, believe, compliance, driving, humor, i, irony, law, obey, rule, time, traffic, traffic law
I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

0

2 months ago

clothes, fashion, government, humor, i, nice, nothing, shutdown, wear
I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, humor, i, life, old, people, perspective, reflection, sad, sadness
Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

0

4 months ago

age, delete, deletion, humor, i, media, old, post, remember, self-awareness, social, social media, sometimes, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Slack this month:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Just shared via Threads:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Trending via Reddit:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Just landed via Messenger:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Seen just now on Threads:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Just landed via Discord:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Live now on Facebook:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Shared recently on X:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Just shared via X:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨