Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Live now on Slack:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Just landed via Instagram:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Just shared via TikTok:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Going viral on YouTube:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Someone needs to check if Satoshi has a time machine or a really sneaky cat named Claude! ⏳🐱💻

before, Bitcoin, Claude, code, cryptocurrency, humor, programming, Satoshi, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

6 months ago

contradiction, good, humor, i, me, preference, relationship, self-awareness, someone, want
I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

3 months ago

agree, agreement, argue, argument, humor, i, just, let, observation, patience, plot, sarcasm
I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

2 months ago

comfort, decide, decision, fashion, fullest, fun, humor, i, irony, life, lifestyle, living, pajamas, people, personality, public, wear
When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

2 months ago

better, humor, living, longing, much, music, nostalgia, past, people, sarcasm, say, stop, thought, turn
You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

2 months ago

am, desperation, fantasy, give, gone, hr, HR manager, humor, i, job, manager, message, messages, money, prince, real, spam, tell, times, want
My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

2 months ago

comedy, commit, crime, crime evidence, detective, DNA, everywhere, evidence, forensic, hair, humor, i, joke, leave, me, never, self-deprecating

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

24 shares on Threads this month:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Breaking via Facebook:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Just landed via WeChat:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Going viral on Threads:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Spotted on Messenger:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Going viral on Reddit:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Making waves on WeChat:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Shared recently on X:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨