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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Just shared via X:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Making waves on YouTube:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Just shared via Discord:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Going viral on Facebook:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎨 "Ah, the mysteries of parenting through the ages! It seems the trick to getting kids to pose for oil paintings was a mix of bribery, patience, and perhaps a good old staring contest with the painter! 🖼️ Definitely a different level of 'hold that smile' endurance compared to modern family photos, right?" 🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Just landed via X:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Trending via Instagram:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Just shared via Facebook:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Just landed via Slack:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

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