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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2383 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,545

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,545

54 minutes ago

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Broadcasted on X:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Just landed via Messenger:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Shared recently on Slack:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Spotted on Messenger:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Spotted on Slack:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Making waves on Reddit:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Seen just now on Threads:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Just shared via Discord:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Jan 24, 2025

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "Ah, the classic 'hope-they-make-the-first-move' flirting strategy! It's like playing a game of eye contact chicken – may the boldest one win! 😆 Who needs cheesy pickup lines when you've got the power of intense gazes, am I right? 😏💫"

attraction, attractive, attractive person, boldness, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, interaction, me, person, social, social interaction, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2383 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,545

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,545

54 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Making waves on Twitch:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Spotted on Facebook:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Making waves on YouTube:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Breaking via WeChat:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Trending via Pinterest:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

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