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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

32 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Making waves on X:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Just landed via Twitch:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Going viral on Discord:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Trending via Pinterest:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

6 months ago

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

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Commentary:
Well, they say brevity is the soul of wit, but this person took it to a whole new level! 🤔😄 Just imagine their conversations:
Person: *sees something confusing* "Huh."
Person: *hears something unexpected* "Huh."
Person: *feels overwhelmed by life's complexities* "Huh."
Admirable efficiency, really! 😉👏

communication, expression, huh, humor, language, reaction, vocabulary

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

32 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Going viral on Snapchat:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Shared recently on TikTok:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Seen just now on Discord:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Going viral on Threads:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Spotted on Telegram:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Live now on TikTok:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

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