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Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Just shared via Threads:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Trending via Slack:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Live now on Twitch:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Just shared via Messenger:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Human stupidity: ensuring the internet remains the world's biggest comedy show! 🤪🤦‍♂️💻 #ThankfulForTheEntertainment"

everyone, existence, human, humor, internet, laugh, smart, stupidity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

2 weeks ago
ability, evil, humor, i, judgment, media, perception, picture, profile, profile picture, social, social media, where
Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

1 month ago
anti-social, bed, day, everyone, humor, just, lie, naked, relaxation, self-care, self-indulgence, solitude
The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

1 month ago
bed, comfort, cozy, elite, leisure, nature, nature sounds, outside, rain, relaxation, self-care, sound, sounds
Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

1 month ago
ever, hearing, humor, husband, marriage, nobody, plans, relationship, second, surprise, time, wife
I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

1 month ago
feelings, flirtation, guess, humor, i, love, mystery, relationship
You used to calm me on my cell phone!

1 month ago
calm, calming, cell, cell phone, communication, humor, me, phone, relationship, technology, used

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Just landed via X:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

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Activity Log ✨

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

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Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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