Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and the irresistible call of the snooze button. 🌟💤 Dream big, but make sure to catch some Z's along the way! 💁‍♂️😴"

activity, am, body, desire, humor, i, laziness, motivation, person, procrastination, sleep, struggle, things, trapped

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

0

2 months ago

advice, back, bedtime, before, breaks, career, dating, ex, fix, going, humor, i, lesson, life, life lesson, recommend, relationship, sleep, trying
There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

0

2 months ago

another, fencing, guys, humorous, joke, kiss, kissing, playful, romantic, should, sport, trying, variant
You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

0

2 months ago

always, cleaning, companionship, everyday, everyday life, humor, laundry, life, loneliness, support, think
Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

0

2 months ago

accurate, acronym, expression, going, humor, humor expression, internet, internet slang, joke, little, lol, SALTS, sarcasm, slang, start, stopped, texting, wit, writing
I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

0

2 months ago

arrest, arrested, believe, doing, doing nothing, humor, i, impersonation, irony, just, nothing, politician, satire, sitting
My brain is 80% song lyrics.

0

2 months ago

brain, humor, lyrics, memory, music, song, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

60 shares on Discord this month:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Making waves on Discord:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Shared recently on Discord:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Trending via Slack:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Going viral on YouTube:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Making waves on YouTube:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Breaking via YouTube:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨