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"Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and the irresistible call of the snooze button. 🌟💤 Dream big, but make sure to catch some Z's along the way! 💁‍♂️😴"

activity, am, body, desire, humor, i, laziness, motivation, person, procrastination, sleep, struggle, things, trapped

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

1 month ago

being, break, culture, employees, help, humor, meetings, productive, productivity, take, wonderful, work, work culture, workplace
My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

1 month ago

burnout, expectations, humor, mama, mediocrity, perfectionist, quitter, raise, raised, self-criticism, sometimes, struggle
“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

1 month ago

back, boy, dating, flirting, humor, joke, life, me, ovary, perimenopause, woman
I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

1 month ago

alien, aliens, always, Earth, humor, i, imagination, vs, war, WWIII
I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

1 month ago

after, body, brunch, Buddha, food, God, humor, i, joke, religion, self-deprecating
Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

1 month ago

30, dating, hide, hide and seek, humor, loneliness, looking, past, past 30, relationship, seek, single

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Broadcasted on Discord:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Just landed via X:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Going viral on Reddit:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Making waves on Twitch:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Alexa, turn off the planet.

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

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I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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