Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a clock when you have your own internal heating pad schedule 🕒🔥 Sounds like your body is setting – and heating – the time! ⏰😂"

aging, body, day, heating, heating pad, hour, humor, i, needs, pad, pain, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

0

2 months ago

activity, heat, humor, i, imagine, irony, outdoor, outdoor activity, shoveling, snow, struggle, weather, winter
My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, attraction, attractive, confidence, dating, flirting, hoping, humor, i, looking, me, multiple, self-deprecating, shy, social, social anxiety, someone, times, version
Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

0

2 months ago

cause, delicious, dishes, dishwashing, doing, food, hate, humor, i, laziness, paper, paper plate, plate, red, rose, roses, taco, tacos
The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, disturbance, holiday, humor, new, new year, space, time, week, wormhole, year
I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

0

2 months ago

creative, creative writing, fiction, humor, joke, list, lists, productivity, short, short fiction, to-do, to-do list, writing
What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

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2 months ago

funny question, humor, kind, life, life of the party, party, psychopath, question, wants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

16 shares on X this month:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

56 shares on X this month:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

46 shares on Discord this month:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Just landed via Snapchat:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Trending via Slack:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Live now on Twitch:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Live now on Pinterest:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Trending via TikTok:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Live now on X:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨