I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

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My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

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Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

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People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

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If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

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Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

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I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

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Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

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You can’t spell disappointment without me.

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The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

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I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.