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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Trending via Slack:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Live now on Instagram:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Just shared via YouTube:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Spotted on Slack:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Going viral on X:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about secretly craving a wish, with a humorous, relatable vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like even your low-key wishes are on high alert! 🌠✨ Keep calm and wish on, my friend! 💫"

desire, fun, humor, i, longing, low key, need, right, wish

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

23 shares on Threads this month:

This email could’ve been sex.

45 shares on Discord this month:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

10 shares on X this month:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Making waves on Snapchat:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Spotted on WeChat:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Trending via Pinterest:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Seen just now on Threads:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Making waves on Telegram:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Just shared via Messenger:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

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Activity Log ✨

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨