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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Making waves on Twitch:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Live now on Messenger:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Just shared via X:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like even your low-key wishes are on high alert! 🌠✨ Keep calm and wish on, my friend! 💫"

desire, fun, humor, i, longing, low key, need, right, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, hack, happiness, health, humor, life, life hack, mental, mental health, mood, positivity, relaxation, sad, sleep
The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

0

1 month ago

behavior, best, forever, humor, media, observer, online, online behavior, social, social media, Twitter
When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

0

2 months ago

good, hard, hard to find, hide, humor, i, joke, office, work, worker, workplace
“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

0

1 month ago

active, activity, awkwardness, dude, even, humor, life, relationship, sexual, sexual activity, social, social activity, social life, socially
Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

0

2 months ago

attraction, boy, compliment, dating, focus, horoscope, humor, me, parts, relationship, sense
Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

0

2 months ago

bubble, bubble wrap, excuse, funny moment, humor, late, moment, procrastination, sorry, wrap

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

95 shares on X this month:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Going viral on Slack:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Breaking via Threads:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨