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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, just a simple case of ambitious financial planning! 💸💼 Who needs bank tellers when you have aspirations, right? 🙃 Just remember, aspiring to hit the jackpot in the lottery might be a safer bet next time! 🤑🎰"

aspiration, bank, humor, i, just, money, motivation, robbery

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

1 month ago
humor, invention, irony, language, metallic, taken, wit, word, word invention
Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

2 months ago
bright, humor, people, sarcasm, selling, smile, trust
The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

1 month ago
animal, animal metaphor, concern, confidence, humor, independence, lion, metaphor, proof, social, social proof
My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

1 month ago
ago, delete, full, guess, humor, i, memory, phone, procrastination, second, spiderweb, storage, time, video, year’s
Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

1 month ago
chores, daily, daily life, day, dishwasher, family, humor, irony, just, life, teen, teenager, teens, told, worst, worst day
I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

4 weeks ago
appreciation, distracted, distraction, enough, got, i, music, person, personality, relatable, restart, song

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

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I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

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Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

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They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

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If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

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I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Trending via Snapchat:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Just shared via TikTok:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Shared recently on Slack:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Making waves on Messenger:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

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Activity Log ✨

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

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I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

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