Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about cutting straight to the point! 😅 It's like saying 'I don't dislike you, I just prefer life without your presence.' 🤷‍♂️ A savage yet oddly diplomatic way of expressing feelings, don't you think? 😂"

alive, hate, humor, i, just, relationships, sarcasm, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

4 months ago

age, aging, bad, everything, forget, forgetfulness, know, knowledge, memory, old, old age, once, start, time, timing, wisdom
My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

2 months ago

birthday, celebration, everyone, humor, ignore, self-deprecation, wish
I bet God still calls it Twitter.

2 months ago

bet, calls, God, humor, i, joke, media, social, social media, still, Twitter
Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

2 months ago

30, children, expert, fatherhood, humor, listening, minutes, obscure, obscure topic, parenting, teaching, topic
Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

2 months ago

appetite, big, craving, food, forget, forklift, fun, humor, i, joke, joke about food, mini, needs, oversized, pizza, want
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

3 months ago

90, again, exhaustion, family, humor, just, lie, lie down, parenthood, parenting, parenting struggle, rest, struggle, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

40 shares on X this month:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

48 shares on Discord this month:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Just landed via Slack:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Going viral on Twitch:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Just landed via Twitch:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨