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Commentary:
"Wow, talk about cutting straight to the point! 😅 It's like saying 'I don't dislike you, I just prefer life without your presence.' 🤷‍♂️ A savage yet oddly diplomatic way of expressing feelings, don't you think? 😂"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

2 months ago

comedy, favorite, humor, i, joke, me, suck, vampire, wit
What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

1 month ago

advice, beginner, getting, information, just, knowledge, learning, pieces, somebody
We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

1 month ago

commentary, eating, got, humor, metaphor, overripe, rich, social, social commentary, talking
Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

2 months ago

analogy, call, creativity, frankenstein, humor, me, monster, patchwork, piecing, piecing together, together
At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

1 month ago

attempt, honesty, humor, i, irony, least, say, self-deprecation, tried, try
Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

1 month ago

family, humor, irony, politician, politicians, resign, say, saying, spend, time, want

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

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Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

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A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

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I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Just shared via TikTok:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Just shared via Reddit:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

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I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

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