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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,034

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Spotted on Instagram:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Just landed via WeChat:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Going viral on Twitch:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

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I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.
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Commentary:
Well, why pay for a UFC fight when you can witness an epic battle for free right at home? 🍭💪 Kids vs Candy – the showdown of the century! Who needs Pay-Per-View when you have sweets hitting the floor like a cage match! 🔔🍬 #ParentingStruggles

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,856

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Seen just now on Messenger:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Going viral on Instagram:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Just shared via Reddit:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Just shared via Messenger:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Making waves on Discord:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Just shared via Telegram:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

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