Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Spotted on Messenger:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Just shared via TikTok:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Just landed via WeChat:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Seen just now on Threads:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

0
I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🚭 "I find myself thinking 'God, I need a cigarette' way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke. Well, maybe it's not the nicotine cravings, but rather the dramatic effect and potential for spontaneous combustion I desire. 🔥 Stay lit in spirit, not in ash!" 🚬

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Discord this month:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

75 shares on Discord this month:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

19 shares on Slack this month:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Making waves on Instagram:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Going viral on Facebook:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Trending via Pinterest:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Going viral on Messenger:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴