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I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

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Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

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“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

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Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

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I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

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I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

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Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.