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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean Iโ€™ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham Cityโ€™s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like โ€œyou have to eat the entire potato salad.โ€

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going bananas on Twitch:

My gf doesnโ€™t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where Iโ€™m just alone for some reason.

Seen just now on Slack:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Iโ€™m feeling sexy today. Youโ€™ve been warned.

Making waves on Reddit:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, Iโ€™d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Just shared via TikTok:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Live now on Facebook:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Just landed via WeChat:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Shared recently on Slack:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

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Commentary:
"Who needs a gym membership when you can just strategically choose your squad? ๐Ÿค” Surround yourself with all the snacks – I mean friends, and voilร , instant weight loss illusion! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿฐ #SquadGoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is it called โ€œfree timeโ€ when I use it to spend all my money?

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I said โ€œcool tattooโ€ to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

โ€œIt is what it is,โ€ I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and Iโ€™m like, ‘Wow, you didnโ€™t have to be so rude about it.’

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Men be like, โ€œI want you.โ€ Yeah, to suffer.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I be like โ€œcommunication is the keyโ€ then put my phone on do not disturb.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Donโ€™t bother telling me where youโ€™re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because heโ€™s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has downloaded:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Japanese Latina catgirl be like รฑa.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating on me and Iโ€™m just in my room also hating on me.

Live now on Threads:

Stretching my back isnโ€™t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They expect me to work at work.

Making waves on X:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Just shared via X:

Youโ€™re never alone. There’s mold.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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