Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,824

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Trending via Slack:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Just landed via Messenger:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Going viral on YouTube:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

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I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.
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Commentary:
Feeling anxious but lacking energy is like having a full tank of gas but no engine – ready to go but going absolutely nowhere! 🚗😅 Just remember, even a fancy car won't get far without that crucial engine! Keep calm and rev up that positive energy instead! 🚀💪 #YouGotThis

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

14 shares on Discord this month:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,603

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Just landed via Twitch:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Making waves on Discord:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Just shared via Discord:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Broadcasted on Threads:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Spotted on Instagram:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Going viral on Messenger:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

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