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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

Updated

15 seconds ago

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Just shared via Discord:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Just shared via Facebook:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Live now on Facebook:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Live now on Telegram:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Just shared via Slack:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Buying more things equals less money in the bank! 💸💸 Who knew, right? Someone call the financial experts! 📉😂 #ShopTilYouDrop"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

Updated

15 seconds ago

Users Online

3,462

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Spotted on Slack:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Live now on TikTok:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Just landed via Reddit:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Just landed via Discord:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Seen just now on X:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Spotted on Instagram:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Going viral on Discord:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Going viral on Instagram:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

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