Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs night vision when you can blind everyone with your LED headlights, am I right? 🌟😂 Safety first, visibility second… or third… or maybe somewhere down the line! 💡😎 #BlindedByTheLights"

driving, else, headlights, humor, i, important, irony, led, LED headlights, me, night, night vision, nobody, poor, safety, visibility, vision

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, food, humor, i, love, meet, name, relationship, significant, significant other
Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bison, experiences, fullest, humor, life, living, selfy
I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

0

2 months ago

coming, conclusion, conclusions, fetish, humor, i, just, logic, pun, stop, wordplay
People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

0

5 months ago

active, activity, both, contradiction, exercise, humor, laziness, lazy, people, same, stairs, step, steps, take, time, walking
Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

0

2 months ago

comedy, date, humor, i, know, maybe, relationship, rom-com, script, start, writing
I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

0

2 months ago

getting, humor, i, life, motivation, procrastination, self-improvement, shit, stress, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

29 shares on Slack this month:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

18 shares on X this month:

A Monday every week is excessive.

41 shares on Slack this month:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

29 shares on Twitch this month:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Just shared via Reddit:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨