I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

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British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

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Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

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Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

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Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.