Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Live now on Reddit:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Breaking via Discord:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Making waves on Telegram:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Just landed via Telegram:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Trending via WeChat:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Moonwalking through life with those pronouns! 😂🕺🌕

humor, i, identify, identity, jackson, joke, michael, Michael Jackson, pronoun, pronouns, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

0

2 months ago

am, aspirations, choices, grow, grow up, humor, i, life, life choices, possibility, tired
Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, comedy, humor, irony, lighthearted, little, paper, parody, question, quirk, trying
Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad taste, Cinderella, face, guy, humor, i, mean, men, mess, never, remember, settled, taste
My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

0

2 months ago

activity, couple, humor, husband, relationship, shop, work, workshop
Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

0

2 months ago

attraction, complicated, dating, flirting, humor, relationships, right, single, things, where
Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

0

2 months ago

account, advice, ask, bank, bank account, before, bridge, bridge troll, buy, buying, easy, financial, financial advice, humor, i, me, money, need, riddles, something, spending, too, troll

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

56 shares on Slack this month:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

94 shares on Slack this month:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

69 shares on X this month:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Going viral on Reddit:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Trending via Instagram:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Making waves on Messenger:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Just landed via Threads:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Making waves on Slack:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Just landed via Instagram:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨