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Commentary:
"Oh, to have the unwavering confidence of a husband who believes every task is a mere 5-minute endeavor! 🤣⏱️ Dream big, aim high, and maybe one day you too can conquer the world in 5-minute intervals! 💪😂"

confidence, everything, humor, husband, i, just, minutes, perspective, procrastination, relationship, time, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

1 month ago
bagel, clock, email, gossip, hour, humor, meeting, office, shit, someone, spent, talking, time, work, work humor
Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

4 months ago
around, everyone, guide, humor, i, job, joke, just, knowing, knowledge, love, me, need, only, think, tour, tour guide, travel, walking
There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

1 month ago
activity, couple, date, fast, fast food, food, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, intimacy, lover, McDonald’s, romantic, something
I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

1 month ago
coffee, expectations, humor, i, low, mornings, motivation, routine, sarcasm, start
I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

1 month ago
entertainment, humor, irony, leisure, much, product, self-deprecating, supervision, television, too, zero
Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

1 month ago
believe, experience, heartbreak, honor, hurt, i, irony, love, me, people, relationship, sarcasm, sometimes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Spotted on X:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Going viral on Facebook:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Making waves on Telegram:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Going bananas on Discord:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

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Activity Log ✨

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Oh good. Another day.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have thought one billion times about everything.

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

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I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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