Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the lengths we go for perfection! 🧐 Who knew a flawless appearance could involve some serious 'hair-raising' sacrifices? 😉 Remember, a little plucking now can lead to a 'whiter' future! ⚪️💇‍♂️✨"

beauty, extra, hair, humor, i, know, pluck, sacrifice, self-care, white

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

0

2 months ago

attitude, care, give, humor, motivation, remind, reminder, sarcasm, shit, yourself
Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

0

2 months ago

adventure, anticipation, brand, choice, choices, excited, excitement, full, fun, humor, life, life choice, new, new year, questionable, questionable choice, Resolutions, super, year
Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

0

2 months ago

back, daddy, every, guy, humor, parenthood, positive, relationship, responsibility, test, wants
I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

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2 months ago

adulthood, age, expectations, forgetfulness, forgetting, humor, i, keep, me, people, positive, pregnancy, pregnant, reaction, social, social expectations, tell, where
I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

0

4 months ago

actually, check, communication, daily, daily routine, day, digital, digital life, email, emails, every, expectation, going, hope, hopes, humor, i, life, life changing, life-changing news, news, procrastination, routine, someday
Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, behavior, calm, dog, dogs, funny observation, human, humans, humor, jobs, observation, pet, pet behavior, relationship, stress

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

50 shares on X this month:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve disappointed better people.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Making waves on Reddit:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Trending via TikTok:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Shared recently on Slack:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Live now on Slack:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Shared recently on Discord:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Trending via Reddit:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Shared recently on Slack:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨