Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Trending via Snapchat:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Spotted on Discord:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Trending via WeChat:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Just landed via Snapchat:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Live now on Threads:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Spotted on Reddit:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Just landed via Slack:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Interdimensional upgrades are always better! 🌌👀✨

alternate, alternate reality, better, comparison, dimension, funny remark, humor, i, liked, personality, reality, remark, version

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

0

2 months ago

able, being, childhood, humor, memory, night, nostalgia, rested, sleep, waking
If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

0

6 months ago

am, demise, escape, humor, i, plotting, quiet, sarcasm, threat, witty
All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, bad, being, boil, existential, humor, life, me, problems, self-reflection, struggles
You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

0

2 months ago

ever, everyday, everyday problem, frustration, humor, i, irony, issue, issues, man, own, past, problem, recurring, recurring issue, relatable, repetitive, self-awareness, surprise, thought
At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

0

2 months ago

30, 30s, age, battery, charge, energy, even, exhaustion, hours, humor, me, midday, old, phone
I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

0

2 months ago

day, fake, humble, just, millionaires, parents, say, still, teach, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

12 shares on Threads this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

88 shares on X this month:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Shared recently on Discord:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Trending via WeChat:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨