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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Breaking via Twitch:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Going viral on Threads:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Seen just now on Threads:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just waiting for my dog to text me back… any minute now! 🐶📱😂

animal, animals, conversation, humor, i, imagination, personality, quirky, reply, stable, talk, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

0

3 months ago

alike, great, great mind, humor, irony, mind, minds, ones, stupid, stupid mind, think, think alike, unfortunately, wit
Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

0

2 months ago

analogy, car, children, driving, emotional, emotional regulation, emotions, feelings, health, humor, mental, mental health, regulation, self-control, stuff, trunk, want
If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

0

3 months ago

handle, humor, leave, me, personality, relationship, weird
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

0

2 months ago

back, cool, depression, ever, got, growth, health, inspiration, life, mental, mental health, motivation, personal, personal growth, recovery, sex, spark, worst
Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

0

2 months ago

alternative, alternative theory, conspiracy, Earth, flat, flat earth, hollow, hollow earth, humor, joke, satire, theory, too, where
Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

0

2 months ago

asking, band, bird, bird song, birds, humor, know, Metallica, music, outside, rock, rock band, song, window

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Slack this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

82 shares on Telegram this month:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

10 shares on X this month:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

40 shares on X this month:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Live now on Discord:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Trending via Threads:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Just landed via WeChat:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Going viral on X:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨