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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Breaking via YouTube:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Making waves on Messenger:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

2 months ago

0

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Home is where the heart is…and apparently where all the fun is too! 🏠❤️ Who needs to go out when you're living the thrilling life of 'Home Sweet Home' on repeat? Just remember to occasionally venture outdoors for Vitamin D and social interaction…or not. 😉 #HomebodyGoals"

being, comfort, coming, cozy, home, i, inside, introvert, love, relaxation, sitting, staying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beautiful day, create, day, existing, humor, ignore, irony, new, ones, problem, problems, procrastination
I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

0

1 month ago

before, black, Black Friday, consumer, deal, deals, discount, Friday, humor, i, item, just, love, price, sale, shopping, tariff, tariffs, year
Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

0

2 months ago

bed, blanket, blankets, book, books, care, cozy, forget, girl, hot, hot girl summer, layers, laying, reading, relaxation, rot, rot girl summer, self, self-care, soft, summer, under
If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

0

2 months ago

English, ever, humor, irony, just, language, lead, read, remember, rhyme, think, weird, wordplay
My favorite thing to do is nothing.

0

2 months ago

favorite, favorite thing, humor, leisure, nothing, procrastination, relaxation, thing
Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

0

2 months ago

always, autumn, beverage, coming, cozy, forget, forgetfulness, habits, hot, hot beverage, i, myself, seasonal, seasonal habits, self-care, tea, time, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Telegram this month:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

87 shares on Threads this month:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

11 out of 10 women are always right.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,365

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Making waves on Reddit:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Trending via Instagram:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Making waves on Instagram:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

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