Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Making waves on Twitch:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

Live now on Slack:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I need money, not feelings.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

1 month ago

Playful quote about diss tracks as humorous battles with personalized poetry.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic art of poetic roasting 👨‍🎤🔥 It's like a lyrical battle of wits where insults are disguised as compliments and rhymes become the ultimate weapon! Who needs swords when you have verses? 🗡️📝 #RapBattlePoetrySlam"

competition, creativity, diss, diss track, expression, going, hate, humor, i, love, much, music, personalization, poetry, rivalry, take, track, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Discord this month:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

53 shares on X this month:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

Going viral on X:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Trending via Facebook:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Going viral on Instagram:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Breaking via Discord:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

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