I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

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Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

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If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

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Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

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Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

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Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

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Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

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Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.