Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Love has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it! Who would've thought a singles night would lead to a partner-in-crime who was busy managing a whole squad at home? 🤣🏡💑 #UnexpectedLoveStories"

activity, dating, fun, fun activity, home, i, kids, marriage, night, relationship, singles, singles night, surprise, thought, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

0

2 months ago

blues, comedy, daily, daily routine, going, humor, job, Monday, Monday blues, routine, where, work, workplace, worst
Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

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2 months ago

antlers, car, falling, finding, holiday, holiday spirit, holidays, humor, imagine, love, put, quirky, relationship, spirit, surprise
There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

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2 months ago

going, guy, humor, irony, jail, joke, misunderstanding, prison, Yale
Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

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2 months ago

admit, doze, doze off, humor, men, sleep, stereotype, wakefulness, why, wrong
People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

0

2 months ago

bad, big, choices, go big, go home, home, humor, i, life, life choices, nap, people, relaxation, rest, thing, want
You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

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2 months ago

achievement, age, charles, dream, humor, inspiration, old, persistence, prince, Prince Charles, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

12 shares on Slack this month:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Shared recently on Discord:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Just shared via TikTok:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Just shared via Reddit:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Shared recently on Threads:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Breaking via Telegram:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Just landed via Slack:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨