Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,838

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Spotted on WeChat:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Just shared via Instagram:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Breaking via Threads:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Making waves on WeChat:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life was all about SpongeBob or Scooby-Doo, not taxes or adulting! 😂📺 #BringBackSimpleTimes

cartoon, Cartoon Network, childhood, decision, entertainment, hardest, i, miss, network, Nickelodeon, nostalgia, TV

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

1 month ago
after, am, anxiety, embarrassed, embarrassment, i, life, media, posting, reason, self-consciousness, social, social media, why
Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

1 month ago
back, bed, dream, dreams, give, humor, motivation, procrastination, sleep
He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

1 month ago
clicking, court, distraction, honor, humor, judge, minute, pen, times, trial
I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

1 month ago
comment, friend, Goofy, humor, i, know, misunderstanding, movie, never, saw, scary, Scary Movie, scream, seen
Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

4 weeks ago
humor, intelligence, IQ, only, psychology, therapist, therapy, works
Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

1 month ago
advice, date, food, guys, humor, hungry, just, pantry, relationships, trying

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Making waves on Facebook:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Trending via Pinterest:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Going viral on Instagram:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Trending via YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Shared recently on Slack:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Just shared via Pinterest:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Men make it so easy to hate them.

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏