Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Going viral on YouTube:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Going bananas on WeChat:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Making waves on YouTube:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

I need a long hot meteor shower.

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I need a long hot meteor shower.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a hot shower when you can have a long hot meteor shower instead? 🚿☄️ Just be sure to avoid standing directly underneath!#OutOfThisWorldHygiene"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Slack this month:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

47 shares on Slack this month:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Just landed via Reddit:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Going viral on Reddit:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Spotted on X:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Trending via WeChat:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Live now on X:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

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