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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Making waves on WeChat:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Trending via Snapchat:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Going viral on Telegram:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your champagne dreams are on a soda budget! 😅🥂💸 #ManifestingMultipleIncomes"

dreaming, financial, financial humor, head, humor, humor quote, i, income, lifestyle, need

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

0

2 months ago

back, boy, dating, flirting, humor, joke, life, me, ovary, perimenopause, woman
January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

0

2 months ago

episode, humor, January, mood, schizophrenic, winter
Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

0

2 months ago

animal, cat, cleaning, couch, hair, humor, humorously, i, judging, left, mess, pet, surprise
It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

0

2 months ago

annoy, calm, humor, irony, people, unhappy
Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

0

2 months ago

asking, confusion, grok, grown, grown man, humor, internet, internet slang, man, men, question, real, slang
Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

0

2 months ago

abandoned, amusement, amusement park, creepy, decay, fear, nostalgia, park, thrill, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WeChat this month:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

29 shares on X this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Live now on WeChat:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Live now on Twitch:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Seen just now on YouTube:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Going viral on X:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨