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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Making waves on Telegram:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Just landed via Discord:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Making waves on Discord:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Trending via Pinterest:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Live now on Messenger:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

3 weeks ago

Funny text about pet antics, imagining cats as lazy workers in a playful cartoon style.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a real-life Tom and Jerry situation on our hands! 🐭🐱 Who knew cats had unionized and are now protesting against their job descriptions? 🙀 Time to call in the cat union rep for some serious negotiations! 😹 #LazyCatsAnonymous

back, being, cartoon, cat, cats, doing, humor, i, jerry, job, lazy, mouse, noticed, pets, problem, tom, Tom and Jerry, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Telegram this month:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

33 shares on Slack this month:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

47 shares on Discord this month:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Going viral on Threads:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Trending via Slack:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Trending via Instagram:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Going viral on Messenger:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Just landed via YouTube:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

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