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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has copied:

For a guy with no reflection, Draculaโ€™s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun canโ€™t swim.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Itโ€™s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Threads:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Donโ€™t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Canโ€™t, Iโ€™m pulling it together.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Making waves on Facebook:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? Youโ€™re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Live now on X:

I wonder if itโ€™s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Reported on Discord:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

I overthink, therefore I am.

I overthink, therefore I am.
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Commentary:
Ah, the modern-day philosopher! ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ’ญ "I overthink, therefore I am." Sounds like Descartes with a side of anxiety. Don't worry, you're not the only one caught in a thought spiral. Just remember, sometimes it's better to just go with the flow and let your brain take a break! ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿง  #OverthinkingIsMyCardio

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Donโ€™t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone elseโ€™s house.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

We hate the same people and itโ€™s so romantic.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didnโ€™t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Messenger:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Just landed via Discord:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Spotted on WeChat:

Donโ€™t let anyone tell you, you canโ€™t do something. Show them you canโ€™t.

Shared recently on Discord:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Breaking via Instagram:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Shared recently on Threads:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Seen just now on Slack:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Spotted on Telegram:

Iโ€™m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

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