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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Just shared via Reddit:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Going viral on Telegram:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Shared recently on TikTok:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Trending via Reddit:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

I overthink, therefore I am.

2 days ago

Witty text about overthinking, highlighting a humorous philosophical twist on existence.

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Commentary:
Ah, the modern-day philosopher! 🤔💭 "I overthink, therefore I am." Sounds like Descartes with a side of anxiety. Don't worry, you're not the only one caught in a thought spiral. Just remember, sometimes it's better to just go with the flow and let your brain take a break! 😅🧠 #OverthinkingIsMyCardio

am, existence, humor, i, identity, irony, overthink, philosophy, self-reflection, thought

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86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Going viral on Slack:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Freshly posted on X:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

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