Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Shared recently on Threads:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Breaking via Threads:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Making waves on Twitch:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Making waves on Facebook:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Just landed via Twitch:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Just landed via YouTube:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

I overthink, therefore I am.

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I overthink, therefore I am.
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Commentary:
Ah, the modern-day philosopher! 🤔💭 "I overthink, therefore I am." Sounds like Descartes with a side of anxiety. Don't worry, you're not the only one caught in a thought spiral. Just remember, sometimes it's better to just go with the flow and let your brain take a break! 😅🧠 #OverthinkingIsMyCardio

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

19 shares on X this month:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

98 shares on Threads this month:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is optimism.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Just shared via TikTok:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Trending via Reddit:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Just landed via Slack:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Breaking via Threads:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Trending via LinkedIn:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

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