Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,796

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Trending via Threads:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Trending via Reddit:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Spotted on Twitch:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Trending via Facebook:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Live now on Discord:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

2 months ago

0

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, isn't that the koala-fications for success? 🐨🎓 Sounds like you really aced that exam with some out-of-this-world creativity! Who knew genetic engineering could be mastered with the help of flying koalas! 🚀 Keep soaring high in your studies!

engineering, exam, flying, genetic, genetic engineering, humor, i, koala, success

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

0

2 months ago

company, conversation, having, here, humor, insane, interaction, just, self-talk, yourself
I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

0

2 months ago

afford, aspiration, comedy, entertainment, gigs, humor, i, paid, stand-up, stepping, stone, television
Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, frustration, getting, honesty, humor, own, real, reality, self, tired
I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

0

2 months ago

dying, hear, humor, i, just, know, mindset, Monday, motivation, needs, positivity, reassurance, stress, workweek
I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

0

2 months ago

activity, book, bored, entertainment, fun, humor, irony, leisure, read
Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

0

2 months ago

better, compare, comparison, confidence, everyone, humor, irony, others, self-esteem, self-reflection, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

29 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

95 shares on X this month:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

90 shares on X this month:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,023

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Just landed via Slack:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Going bananas on Threads:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴