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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Spotted on X:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Going viral on Instagram:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Just landed via Reddit:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Freshly posted on X:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Just shared via Threads:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Live now on Messenger:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

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I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.
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Commentary:
"Adulthood: where you pay bills to prove you exist! 📝💸 #AdultingChronicles"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

85 shares on Facebook this month:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I used to have a great future in my past.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Happiness is an inside job.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Spotted on X:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Making waves on Twitch:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Just shared via YouTube:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Breaking via Twitch:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Just shared via Telegram:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Live now on Snapchat:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

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