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Commentary:
"Trying to be nice is like trying to catch a butterfly – you're just one annoying person away from turning into a fire-breathing dragon! 🦋🔥 #NiceButNotThatNice"

annoying, conflict, humor, i, interaction, just, let, me, nice, people, personality, social, social interaction, struggle, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

1 month ago
dementia, Dre, family, forget, grandfather, humor, irony, memory, watching, worst
Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

1 month ago
anger, better, cleaning, frustration, humor, motivation, nobody, pissed, somebody
Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

2 months ago
avoidance, cardio, count, exercise, fitness, humor, problems, running
The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

1 month ago
bad, bad idea, being, cool, cool thing, decision, delay, ever, ground, humor, idea, ideas, procrastinator, thing
My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

1 month ago
adult, adulthood, believe, childhood, door, doors, dread, existential, existential dread, expectations, gain, humor, ID, irony, lava, led, me, passageway, quicksand, secret, secret passageway, serum, trap, trap door, truth, truth serum, weight, weight gain
I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

1 month ago
act, comfort, expectation, frustration, hate, humor, i, job, man, pillow, should, sleep

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Breaking via Discord:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Going viral on Facebook:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Breaking via Messenger:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

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I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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