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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2130 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,292

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,292

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on TikTok:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Breaking via X:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You canโ€™t have everythingโ€ฆ where would you put it?”

Just shared via Instagram:

Might start signing off emails with โ€˜well, I hope youโ€™re happyโ€™

Breaking via TikTok:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I donโ€™t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Breaking via Threads:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Trending via X:

If youโ€™re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or Iโ€™m out.

Spotted on Slack:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Spotted on Discord:

Letโ€™s go out for carrots sometime.

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.
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Commentary:
"Maybe being a Librarian isn't your calling, but you've definitely mastered the 'shushing' art! ๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿ“š Keep quiet and carry on, oh silent sage!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2130 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,292

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,292

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I like how people say โ€œmanage your depression,โ€ like itโ€™s a stock portfolio, but youโ€™re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Iโ€™m not old, Iโ€™m vintage.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on WhatsApp:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Live now on Discord:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person whoโ€™s house youโ€™re in.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Trending via TikTok:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Iโ€™ve been doing Dry January, but itโ€™s literally just been my lips and skin.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Just shared via Slack:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Going viral on Instagram:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Spotted on Instagram:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

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