Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew toast could be so full of surprises! 😱🍞 Maybe the real pop-up surprise show is happening right in your kitchen! Keep those reflexes sharp and your witty comebacks even sharper! 😄🔥"

every, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, life, own, popping, relatable, shit, single, someone, startled, talk, time, toast, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

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2 months ago

even, hospital, humor, irony, media, mental, mental hospital, proof, social, social media, technology, wifi
I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

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2 months ago

attitude, chill, expression, full, humor, irony, nonchalant, rage
Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

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2 months ago

accommodation, Airbnb, house, humor, joke, quiet, travel
Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

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1 month ago

disappointment, every, Friday, getting, humor, i, life, motivation, plans, procrastination, self-improvement, together, weekend
It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

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2 months ago

beginning, Christmas, cost, expense, festive, holiday, humor, lot, season
Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

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2 months ago

attitude, carefree, five, friendship, giving, hand, hatred, here, high, high five, humor, imagine, me, over, pocket, positivity, self-confidence

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

34 shares on Messenger this month:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Trending via WeChat:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Going bananas on Telegram:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Trending via Slack:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Trending via Twitch:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨